Cocktails of Emotion
by EvenSolution
Summary: Lily finally agrees to go on a date with James and it's the happiest night of his life, or at least it was supposed to be.


It was late one evening in the Gryffindor Common Room, everyone was relaxing either by themselves or with their friends, chatting or playing games. Some had even gone up to bed already. But not the Marauders, and certainly not Lily Evans. Her mind was too preoccupied with something else.

"Just go do it already." Her friend, Marlene McKinnon, urged her from the top of the steps to the girls' dorm. Evans was fiddling with her fingers anxiously.

"But he'll never shut up about it, I'll be a laughing stock."

"Lily," Marlene started, "I love you, but I've been waiting for this moment since second year. So I swear to Merlin if you don't get down there I will push you down those steps." Marlene said, giving Lily a threatening stare. When Lily gave a daring glare back, Marlene placed her hands quickly on Lily's shoulders and gave the slightest movement forward, warning to push harder.

"Alright, alright. I'll go." Lily said, waving Marlene off and starting down the steps. She could see him still, he was occupied talking to his friend, his best friend, probably about Quidditch. She was still fiddling with her fingers when she got to the couch they were sitting on, but hid them behind her back.

"Evans! How are you?" He was a long haired, semi-punk looking boy, the one who greeted her. He was, for some reason, wearing a leather jacket and fluffy pajama pants that had multiple pink designs. He was sitting on the edge of the couch, leaned against the arm so he could better face his friend. Next to him, sitting in the center of the couch, was a messy brown haired boy wearing sweatpants and a band t-shirt. There was a huge smile on his face as he talked to his friend, and it wavered slightly when his eyes met Lily's. "Better yet, how can I help you?"

"Hi, Sirius, I'm actually here to talk to Po- James." This brought even more intrigue to the two boys' faces. A light-brown haired boy next on the other end of the couch took his attention off of the girl sitting on the arm of the couch to look at Lily with an uneven brow. But he quickly wrapped his arm around the girl's waist and leaned into her, continuing his quiet conversation with her. James sat in between Remus and Sirius and watched Lily eagerly, but with fear as well.

After Lily didn't speak for a few minutes and simply stood in front of them, still fiddling with her fingers, James spoke up, "Lily— Evans, sorry, if this is because of when I bumped into you in Potions the other day I already apologized and I told you, I'd gladly replace the bottles of yours I broke. And as for the potion itself, I'll re-brew it for you, I swear. Just give me a day—″

"James, that's not—″

"And I'll have it done because I swear that I didn't mean to bump into you, I meant it when I said that I was done bugging you—″

"James—″

"I get it, you're just not interested. You made that very clear at the start of the year in the Head Department. The only reason we should be talking is because of Head duties and school matters, I agreed—″

"James, please stop—″

"Is that was this is about? Head Duties? It's not time for patrol yet, is it? Was there a meeting, oh Merlin, tell me there wasn't a meeting. I'll make it up to you, I swear. Dumbledore too! I have no idea what he was thinking when he gave me Head Boy, Merlin I wasn't even a Prefect—″

"James, I want you to take me to Hogsmeade."

"It had to be a mistake, right? I mean, what was he thinking?" James continued to ramble, now talking to himself more than anyone else, and appeared not to have heard Lily. But Sirius and Remus did, both were watching the red haired girl now. Sirius watched with interest and a sly smirk, one he was famous for, and Remus watched with shock and wide eyes. "Maybe I should resign, give up the title— Wait, what did you say?" James asked, finally meeting Lily's eyes again.

"I want you to take me to Hogsmeade. I mean, if you want to. The Hogsmeade visit is this weekend and all, and I was just wondering if you'd be interested."

"As-as what? Is there something we need to talk about?" James asked, refusing to believe his ears, while Sirius was getting more cheeky looking by the second.

"I mean as a date, James." Lily clarified, avoiding James' eyes and glaring at Sirius.

"Hell yeah!" Sirius declared after James didn't speak. "I knew you'd come around Evans!" Sirius said, punching her gently in the shoulder after he jumped up off the couch. "I mean, it took you almost seven years, but hey, better late than never, right?" She gave him a forced smile when he slung his arm over her shoulders and pulled her closer. Remus had leaned away from the girl to get slightly closer to James, but he kept his arm around her. He whispered an 'Are you okay?' into his ear before leaning back, waiting for a response.

"Marauders to the dorms now." Was what came out of James' mouth, he said it in his Quidditch Captain voice, and it was loud enough for Peter to hear half way across the Common Room. His head shot up from the text book he had been reading with a frustrated expression. He quickly jumped up from the chair and walked to the boys' dorm steps. He was met quickly by James, Remus and Sirius after Sirius gave Lily a reassuring pat on the shoulder. Lily plopped onto the, now, empty couch and pushed her face into her hands.

"I blew it. They'll spread it around the school and make me just another one of their jokes." Lily began voicing her fears when she felt Marlene sit beside her.

"Lily, they're the Marauders, they make a joke out of anything and everything, but you are not one of them because James would kill them all himself. He just needs time to think, after all, you did tell him to go to Hell at the beginning of the year and then you made him agree not to talk to you unless he absolutely needed to. He's probably a bit confused. Just give them a few minutes to have one of their stupid meetings and he'll say yes."

"You really think he will?"

"He's James Potter, he's loved you since first year and been trying to get you ever since. You think he's just going to stop now?"

"So, opinions?" James asked, sitting at the head of a small table they had set up in the middle of the room.

"I think you should take the opportunity. Might be a once in a lifetime, even if it is a prank, it's worth a shot." Started Sirius, sitting on the left side of the table.

"Aye, but what if it is a prank? We'd be ruined." Peter added nervously, sitting on the right side.

"Wormtail, I don't think that's what matters here. Prongs, mate, I don't want you to end up hurt, but I have to agree with Padfoot. It might be a once in a lifetime thing, I say take the shot." Remus was sitting on the far end, his arms laid up on the table.

"Alright, Moony," James ruffled his hair a bit as he spoke, "We'll take a vote. Padfoot?"

"I say go for it."

"As I said, I'm with Pads."

"And you, Wormtail?" James asked, waiting patiently for the nervous boy's answer. Reluctantly, Peter nodded, James stood in response.

"Alright, well, I'll check it out." James declared, looking down at his fellow Marauders. They all shouted words of encouragement as he left the room. When he made it down the dorm steps he walked over to the couch he and his two friends had been seated on. Lily was still seated there, Marlene beside her; the two were laughing now. "Evans." He said, announcing his presence from behind the couch. Lily snapped her head quickly toward James and immediately lost her look of amusement. "Can I talk to you outside for a moment, please?" After James made his request he began walking toward the portrait hole. Marlene was quite shocked and concerned, she'd never heard James even mutter the word 'please' before. Lily quickly got up, giving one last look to Marlene who gave her back a reassuring look.

After they made it out of the portrait hole and it closed behind them, they walked a ways down the hallway so no portrait would hear their conversation.

"Listen, James, I didn't mean to—″

"I need to know whether or not you're serious about this. First you get bloody livid with me, tell me to leave you alone and I finally oblige. Now you're telling me you want to go on a date, so I really need to know where your head's at, Evans, because I don't want to be wasting time. Not yours and especially not mine."

"You think it'd be a waste of time?" Lily asked, quieter than usual.

"I don't know what I think it would be, but what I do know is that I spent six years, six bloody years trying to get you to even so much as be my friend. After six years I finally back off after you tell me to, quite literally, 'Step the fuck off, Potter.' So, I'm sorry if I'm a bit caught off guard and suspicious when after six years of denial and multiple orders to leave you alone, you end up asking me out to Hogsmeade. I need answers." His voice was rushed, and his tone sounded as though he was scolding a small child. Lily certainly felt like one.

"You know what, never mind." She answered, now in her usual irritated tone that she used whenever she spoke to James.

"See what I mean, Evans? You still can't even have a conversation with me. You can't act like I'm the bad guy anymore. All I ask for is answers and you can't even give me that. Just give me something, Evans. Something I can go on because I don't know what to think and I need to know whether this is what it seems."

"Oh yeah? And what's that?" She snapped, now in his yelling an inch away from his face.

"To good to be true!" He yelled back. Lily could see the tears in his eyes even with the dim lighting the hallway provided. She moved back a step before he started talking again, his voice was cracking and unsteady, nothing like the usual 'suave Potter' attitude she knew. "Ever since first year, when I first saw you outside the Hogwarts Express, I was willing to give you everything. For six bloody years I was willing to give you everything. Every inch of my life, every moment, every breath I took I was willing to give up for you, every bit of money I had I was willingly to give to you, every shattered piece of my heart I was willing to give to you. And I wouldn't have even asked you to mend it for me because for all those years, every time you broke my heart, I considered it an honour because getting my heart broken was a moment I could cherish because if you were going to break my heart I knew you'd have to talk to me. I was willing to give you everything. And you know what? I still am. But all I'm asking is that you give me some answers first. That's all I ask." Lily was shocked and lost for words as she watched James, a person she resented for six years, finally show emotion. She had never seen him show weakness. She watched the tears stroll down his face and drip from his chin, she saw the way his lip quivered, and how his chest heaved. "Because I'm sorry, Evans, but I can't take another heart break. Not from you. I've had to put my heart back together too many times and I've had to rebuild it with less and less pieces each time you broke it because you took a few pieces with you, whether you know it or not." His voice was still shaking, but as he struggled to speak and fresh tears went down his face he never stopped looking into her eyes.

"I-I-I don't know what to say."

"Yeah," He moved around her and began walking back to the portrait hole, "that's what I thought."

For a few seconds she let him keep walking, still looking for the right words. But before he got too far, she found them. "All those years you were there." James stopped when he heard her voice, she could hear him sniffle. "No matter what. And for the longest time I didn't need you there. Didn't _want_ you there. But over the years I lost people, good friends betrayed me and I was forced to cut ties and because of that stress I finally pushed you away. And I realized something," She paused, taking a deep breath, "I was alone. Because no matter what, during those six years I was never alone, I could always count on you each day, each year to be there for me. Even if I didn't like it."

"So, what," James interrupted, spinning on his heels and stomping towards her, "you just want to go out until you find someone else? 'Til you're not alone anymore? Then what? You dump me off like some puppy until you're alone again?"

"No, James," He flinched at the sound of his name coming from her lips, "I want you there forever because over the past month I was hit with a truth: no matter how many people I have around me, without you I will always feel alone." She was, once again, only a few inches from James wet face. She had to fight back tears of her own, recognizing that this was not her time to show weakness. "So, I'll try again; I want you to take me to Hogsmeade this weekend."

"Yeah," He started, wiping his eyes with his sleeves, "I'd gladly take you to Hogsmeade." He finished, sounding as though he wasn't sure about his decision. "We should probably head back." He said, turning around and walking back toward the portrait hole, not waiting for Lily to catch up. Despite this, she did.

"So,"

"Evans, let's not try to act as though we're better friends than we are, okay? Not yet. Because, honestly, I'm still doubtful that after this 'date' you'll want to go further."

"I was going to remind you that we have patrol soon."

"Right," James stopped outside the portrait hole, said the password and continued, "I'll see you then, I guess."

"Yeah, I guess so." Lily answered, but it wasn't heard because James was already walking towards his dorm stairs. Remus and Sirius watched him go while they sat on the couch they were near before, Remus now had the previous girl on his lap, while Sirius had been napping. Peter was back over reading his book and hadn't noticed the two return.

After James had finished going up the staircase, Remus and Sirius looked to Lily with confused looks. Lily said nothing and walked up her own dorm steps to find Marlene.

"So, how'd it go?"

"Terrible. I think he hates me and I don't even blame him, after everything I put him through I'd hate me too. I do hate me." Lily said, plopping down on Marlene's bed, Marlene had been lying down, reading a book.

"That's not proper grammar."

"I don't care. He got so upset. Then he said 'we shouldn't act like we're better friends than we are.'"

"Well, what were you expecting?" Asked Marlene, now sitting up.

"I don't know. Maybe a little more enthusiasm? But I'm not surprised, I knew this would end horribly."

"Did he accept the take you, though?"

"Yeah, but—″

"Then don't complain. You just have to make it the best date of his life and considering it will be with The Lily Evans, it shouldn't be that hard."

"Yeah, The Lily Evans that ruined his life."

"Oh, shut up and get off my bed. Don't you have to get ready for patrol?"

"Yeah."

"Then go!" Marlene ordered, hitting Lily's arm with the book.

"How'd it go, mate?"

"I'm taking her to Hogsmeade next weekend." Remus gave James a light punch on the shoulder.

"Hey! That's great! That is great, right?" He asked after seeing the numbness in James' face.

"I don't know, Moony, I'm just trying not to get my hopes up. I'm just so used to the rejection now it seems odd to not be receiving it."

"Well, Prongs, I know it's weird, but you have to seize the moment—″

"Because this could be a one in a lifetime thing, I know." James let out a deep sigh and ran fingers through his hair, leaving a hand behind his head. "And I know I should be excited, I should be running up the bloody walls. I should be worried about this weekend; I should be planning everything out to make sure it goes perfectly because I've been waiting for this moment for years. But I just can't. And I don't know why." Thankfully, Sirius walked in after James finished, Remus had been at a loss of words.

"Prongs, mate! I heard you got a date! Hell yea— why aren't we celebrating?"

"Prongs doesn't want to get his hopes up." Remus explained.

"Are you kidding me?" Sirius roared, his voice now livid. "After all this time, after all the tears and effort that you- that _we_ had to put into getting you a date over the years. Now you finally get one and you're trying not to get your hopes up? Get your ass out of that chair and get downstairs, and you better look happy because we have a reputation to protect!" Sirius commanded, now in front of James who was sat in his chair from the Marauders' previous meeting.

"Listen, Pads, I appreciate what you're trying to here but—″

"I said now, young man. And don't make me take off my belt!" Sirius said in a mock-stern voice before breaking out into a smile. "Come on, Prongs. Let's go enjoy the last little bit of time you have before you have to deal with the most awkward patrol ever."

"Why did you have to remind me?" James asked, groaning.

"Well, if I didn't someone else was going to and I figured that you'd rather hear it from my beautiful lips."

"Alright, let's go." James pushed himself out of the chair and began walking for the door; Sirius and Remus followed. As the three were walking down the staircase James locked eyes with Lily who was now sitting on one of the couches alone. Before James forced a smile back onto his face, as single thought went through his mind: 'This is gonna be one Hell of a night.'


End file.
